


My Sincerest Apologies

by StarWrites613



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Also cause I can, And I wanna talk about it, Angst, Because that head canon is cute, Crying, Cuz Phil isn't doing anything, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I might've self projected onto Tommy a little bit, I'm Salty, Manipulation, Mental Breakdown, One Shot, Oops, Sam Nook is Awesamedude, Sam is taller than Tommy, Tommy went through a lot, a little out of character, awesamdad, sort of??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29169417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarWrites613/pseuds/StarWrites613
Summary: It had been a good day.The SMP was quiet. Calm. Even with the weird "egg vines" that had been sprouting about, there was no feeling of terror. No continuous rush of adrenaline. No constant thoughts of how death was around every corner.It was just Tommy and everyone else. Him and the SMP. He was happy. He wasn't alone anymore.It was a good day.Well, it had been a good day.He's just not allowed to have those, is he?TL;DR giving you the Awesamdad that Tommy needs
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit
Comments: 18
Kudos: 513





	My Sincerest Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder this fic is based off of the Dream SMP, which is a role-play. I'm writing about the characters, not the people! Just don't want you to think I'm talking about real Dream (who is wonderful) when I'm talking about character Dream (who's a dick).
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> Crying  
> Mental Breakdown  
> References of a past toxic friendship  
> Mentions of Mental/Emotional abuse  
> Yelling  
> Fighting  
> Swearing (it is Tommy)  
> Mentions of Manipulation
> 
> Also if you have not watched the exile arc for Tommy and/or are not caught up to the current events involving Tommy expect some mediocre/possibly important spoilers!!

It had been a good day.

The SMP was quiet. Calm. Even with the weird "egg vines" that had been sprouting about, there was no feeling of terror. No continuous rush of adrenaline. No constant thoughts of how death was around every corner.

It was just Tommy and everyone else. Him and the SMP. He was happy. He wasn't alone anymore.

It was a good day.

Well, it _had_ been a good day.

He's just not allowed to have those, is he?

"Hello again, TommyInnit!" a familiar voice called out, sounding cartoonish and a pitch just a tad too high.

"Hey, Sam Nook!" It was just Sam, Tommy knew that. He wasn't an idiot. But, on his first day making the Big Innit Hotel (name made by yours truly), Sam had jokingly started talking in that voice. And, well, it was too stupid to  _ not  _ laugh at it.

Besides, when was the last time he really laughed? It almost made him feel like a kid again. Or at least remind him that he still is one.

He'd been forgetting about that a lot lately.

"The progress of the hotel is going along well!" Sam chirped, smiling down proudly. "You seem to be in a good mood, TommyInnit."

"I am!" It wasn't a lie. His chest was puffed up, face that proud and shameless smile he hadn't worn in months. Apparently hanging out with Tubbo and vandalizing shit with Ranboo and Charlie can make you feel like that. "It's been a good day, for once." He let out a light scoff, but there was a hidden bitterness to it.

If Sam noticed, he didn't comment. "That is good to hear! I hope you were able to obtain the four stacks of cobblestone I asked for. The hotel can't continue to be built without it!" 

_ Shit.  _

The world came crashing down on him almost instantly. The bright sun was suddenly unbearable. Tommy's stomach became knotted, filling up with burning dread. Or maybe it was bile. The teen's breath picked up as Tommy became acutely aware of the tall cliff right next to him and Sam.

How could he have been so careless? How could he forget? Sure, he's been on good terms with Sam throughout this ordeal, but that's just because he always did as he was told! Sam had trusted him to do what he asked and Tommy just blatantly ignored him.

But surely Sam will know it was an accident. He hadn’t meant to get distracted, it was a mistake. They were friends, weren’t they?

_ “I thought we were friends, Tommy.” _

No.

_ “Friends don’t lie to each other.”  _

No no no no no no.

This was Sam, not Dream. Dream was in prison. He was supposed to be over this by now. It’s fine, it’s fine, just let him know he’s sorry.

“Sam, I am so so sorry,” Tommy choked out. His throat felt as if it was closing in on itself. He was out in the open but everything felt so tight.

The creeper seemed to hesitate, his smile slipping ever so slightly. “Ah… about what, TommyInnit?” he asked, though the bounce in his voice was gone.

He’s mad.

He’s gonna be so upset with him.

The teenager put his hands up slowly as if dealing with a wild animal. His brow was suddenly thick with sweat and his eyes flew about their surroundings. No one else was around. No one would know if he lost his last life.

_ “I trusted you, Tommy.”  _

“I swear, I was going to get the cobblestone, I really was! In fact, I-here’s proof, I have some-” He fumbled over his own words as he struggled to pull half a stack of cobblestone from his bag. “See! I was doing it, I promise.”

He held out the cobblestone like an offering, but when he looked at Sam the man was no longer smiling. 

_ “Put it in the pit, Tommy.”  _

Tommy clung onto his bag tightly. He didn’t want to lose his stuff. Not again. He had been trying so hard to get some good stuff again, on his own this time!

What if Sam blew up his house?

What if Sam blew up the  _ hotel?  _

He couldn’t build it himself, that was the point of hiring him in the first place! What if he chased him out of the SMP? What if he had to leave again, with nothing,  _ again, _ be  _ alone  _ **_again_ ** .

“Tommy!” He flinched violently as Sam grabbed his shoulders. He’s mad, he’s mad, oh he’s so mad.

“Sam, really, I’m so sorry. Tubbo was helping me get it and then Ranboo and Charlie came by and I forgot. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I can go get it right now, I promise-”

“Tommy, look at me, please!”

“I can even double it, if you need more! Just please don’t take my things away. Please, I really like my stuff. Please, please, I swear I’m sorry, I really am-”

“Tommy, it’s  _ okay!  _ ”

The world went quiet.

When Tommy looked up at Sam, the creeper looked blurry. With a blink, he realized he had started crying.  _ Fuck.  _

At once he went to rub at his eyes, looking down with a red face. He felt Sam’s hands flinch, as if he was going to grab his hands but hesitated.

The two sat in silence for a moment, the teen uncomfortably sniffing from time to time. Everything still felt so closed in, despite being outside, and there was a constant buzzing in his head. 

_ Why didn’t you listen, he’s your only friend, you’ll be alone again alone you’re alone alonealonealone- _

“Tommy.” It was softer, but tough enough that he still flinched. Slowly, but surely, Tommy met Sam’s eyes and was shocked to find they were… concerned? “I’m not upset with you. At all.”

Oh, so he was going with that tactic.

The boy closed in on himself slightly, looking down once more. “Sam, you don’t have to lie to me. I’m sorry, I truly am, just let me fix it, please.” Sam squeezed his shoulders gently.

“I’m not lying. You did nothing wrong.”

“But I did! I promised you cobblestone and I didn’t do it. I’m, I’m a bad-”

“You’re not a bad friend, Tommy, I-”

“I am! I had a simple task, one task! And I didn’t listen.”

_ “You never listen, Tommy! I asked you to do one thing, one thing! And you couldn’t!”  _

“Tommy, it’s alright, you aren’t-”

“Stop lying to me!” Tommy flinched at his own voice. He wanted Sam to let go of him. He wanted to run away. He wanted to leave, to never return, to get out, get out,  _ get out-  _

_ Breathe _ , a voice that sounded distinctly like his long gone brother said. Though he hesitated, he listened.

Letting out a slow and shaky breath, he looked up slightly. He still couldn’t meet Sam in the eyes. “You don’t have to pretend. To, to trick me. I was a bad friend. I’m sorry, Sam.”

Tommy blinked, and when his eyes opened once more they were at eye level with Sam’s. He had crouched down, just barely. The teen jerked back, but Sam kept a steady hold on his shoulders.

“Tommy,” he started, voice soft and delicate and way too caring. “I’m not lying. I’m not mad at you. It’s okay you don’t have the cobblestone. You didn’t have to get it to me right away.”

“But you asked for it. It was a rule. You ask for something, I bring it to you, you build my hotel and be friends with me.” Sam winced at his wording, and Tommy felt his brows furrow. “What?”

“Friendship isn’t part of the contract, Tommy.” 

His heart dropped.

If Sam wasn’t friends with him anymore, if he had fucked up that badly, who’s to say everyone else won’t leave? They all did the first time he messed up. No, he couldn’t go back to that, back to being by himself, alone, exiled. Surely he could fix this. They wouldn’t abandon him again, would they?

Would they?

“I’m friends with you because I want to be,” Sam continued. It took a second, but once Tommy registered the words the panic was (momentarily) subsided with confusion.

“What do you mean? I wrote in the contract, ‘you have to be one of my best friends.’ That’s part of the deal.”

Sam let out a chuckle, but it sounded almost pitying, and if Tommy weren’t so stressed he’d probably be irked by the baby face the man was giving him. “Tommy, I want to be your friend because I  _ want  _ to, not cause I have to.”

…

What?

“I...I don’t,” he stuttered, his eyes feeling hot and itchy, but he couldn’t look away from Sam. He looked so  _ genuine _ . So kind and earnest, like he truly just wanted to see Tommy succeed, to see Tommy happy.

But that’s not how things work. People get annoyed with Tommy. They deal with him if they have to and leave as soon as they can. They use him, they trick him, nobody just  _ wants  _ to suffer through the annoying stubborn prick that he is.

He can’t be serious. He has to be lying.

Sam looked around, noted the open walled hotel, and slowly began to push the boy towards it. “Let’s head somewhere more private, yeah?”

Panic rushed through Tommy once more with full force. He sharply shook his head, to the point where his neck made a small painful pop. Moving somewhere else, he’s taking him somewhere, he doesn’t wanna leave, please don’t kick him out again, no, he’s finally had a home.

“Just over to the hotel, I promise,” the creeper reassures, his hand now barely resting on Tommy’s shoulder.

He hesitated, but after thinking about the fact that there aren’t any walls to stop him from escaping, he shuffles over towards his prized project.

_ “You broke my trust, so now you have to start from scratch.”  _

_ “I don’t want to do this, Tommy, but you left me no choice.”  _

_ “I’m messing with you!”  _

That last one didn’t fit in with the rest. Yet before Tommy could think about where that memory came from because  _ Dream’s my friend, why would he mess with me?  _ Sam had started talking again.

“Let me make this clear, Tommy. You’re not in any trouble. I promise. In fact, I’m glad you’re hanging out with Ranboo and Charlie! With anyone, really.”

Tommy arched a brow, and before he could stop himself he quipped, “You sound like a dad concerned for his lonely-ass kid.” Something seemed to shine in Sam’s eyes at the word “dad”, a word Tommy hadn’t been fond of in a while, but he didn’t comment. He was already pushing it.

Sam seemed to bite something down right before it left his mouth, and instead let out an amused chuckle. “I guess I kinda do. Point is, it’s okay you didn’t get the cobblestone. I’d never get mad at you for something as unimportant as that.”

“But it is important. You can’t continue to build the hotel without it!” Tommy insisted, hugging himself tightly now that the man had let go of him.

Once again, Sam seemed to debate something. Slowly, but surely, he said, “Well, that’s not relatively true. It does help loads, but I could technically still continue building the base structure.”

What.

Something snapped in Tommy, that old stubbornness that he’d been scared of showing for quite a while, and couldn’t stop himself as he yelled, “You’ve been fucking babying me!”

While he held a strong front, the teen was internally terrified he had stepped over some boundary, resisted more than he should’ve.

But Sam just let out a laugh, some tension leaving his shoulders. “Look, it really does help me out!”

A question appeared in his mind, and Tommy decided to test something. “All this time I’ve been working my ass off and you could’ve been what, half way done with the hotel by now?! Sometimes it feels like I work for you and not the other way around.”

Sam was smiling now. “No, I promise, you’re a huge help.”

Tommy internally held his breath. “You’re a real bitch, you know that, Sam?! Jesus Christ it’s a good thing you can build shit otherwise I’d ‘ve fired you by now. I am not a child. I am the biggest of men  _ and _ your boss!”

Sam let out a big and hearty laugh, the kind where your shoulders bounce up and down and you can’t wipe that smile off your face. It was quick, but it was real. Tommy couldn’t believe it.

He really wasn’t mad at him.

“Yes, okay, okay, I admit it, I was kind of babying you, but please don’t fire me, Mr. Innit,” the creeper joked, crossing his arms, but not in a threatening way.

The teen wanted to make a snappy retort. Wanted to keep the warm atmosphere that had appeared. But all he could do was stare wide-eyed.

After a few seconds too long, Sam began to grow concerned agan. “Tommy?” he asked hesitantly.

“You’re really not mad at me.” It left his mouth before he could stop it. That look of sorrow came over the man again, but this time there was no pity. Just concern.

“Of course I’m not mad, Tommy. I’ll never be mad at you, and even if I am I’d never do anything to hurt you. I promise.” Tommy wanted to believe him. He really did.

But he was too quick to trust too many people to fall for it again.

“You don’t know that,” he mumbled, looking at the ground once more.

Sam paused with his hand in the air, but soon gently placed it on Tommy’s arm. Tommy had to fight to hold himself still. “I really do. I wouldn’t lie to you about it. Not like Dr- uh, others have.”

He perked up at that. “You were going to say Dream, weren’t you?”

“Well, I just mean the general group of people who’ve lied to you,” Sam tried to defend, but now the creeper was the one avoiding eye contact.

Tommy stared long and hard, and soon enough his eyes drifted over to the prison. The prison that held Dream. The man he  _ thought  _ was his friend. Because no, Dream wasn’t his friend. He’s a fucking psychopath that almost killed Tubbo just to toy with Tommy.

And he was locked up. For good.

Suddenly it clicked.

“You know what Dream did to me, don’t you?” He had intended for the question to be rough and intimidating, but it only came out quiet, scared.

“He’s told me while I watch over him," he admitted before quickly adding, "I, Tommy, the things he did to you… No one should go through that, nonetheless a child!”

“I’m not a child.” His voice was a bit sharper that time, but not because he was defensive. He was ashamed.

“Tommy, you  _ are _ . Everyone seems to forget that, even you! I just, I was so concerned that you had to go through that,  _ alone  _ , I had to make sure you were okay!”

He knew it.

“So you aren’t my friend. I’m just your patient to heal, right?”

“That’s not what I said-”

“I’m the little baby you need to look after, aren’t I? Look, Sam, I have managed  _ perfectly  _ fine on my own! I’ve never had anyone I could fully trust, fully lean on. I don’t need anyone. I’ll never need anyone but  _ myself  _ .” It was a flat out lie and they both knew it.

“I don’t just hang out with you to  _ fix  _ you, you don’t need fixing! But you need someone there for you. I knew that it was wrong. To put a kid through war. To send a kid to exile. It was wrong from the start. I offered to help you, but gods I wish I had just forced you to come live with me! The stuff Dream did to you is  _ awful  _ and Tommy, I just want you to be happy!”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not!"

“ _ You are!  _ No one cares. No one cares! It’s over and done with. I’m fine, I don’t need therapy, I don’t need to be coddled, I just need to move on! I don’t need someone to pretend to be my friend, I don’t need friends, I don’t, I don’t need a  _ brother _ , I don’t need a  _ father _ ,  _ I don’t need  _ **_anyone!_ ** ”

There was a beat of quiet save for Tommy’s heaving breaths. He was crying again, dammit. He took in his words and that familiar anxiety kicked up. He’d gone too far, rebelled too much.

If only he could learn to shut his stupid mouth-

In the blink of an eye a pair of arms were hugging him. On instinct he tried to push away, to fight it and escape. But they just squeezed tighter, and Tommy froze when he felt a single drop on his shoulder.

“You need  _ someone _ .”

Tommy couldn’t stop himself. The most horrendous sob escaped him, shook his entire being. He fell into Sam’s hold, a flood gate he had fought so hard to keep together bursting open. It was like he couldn’t breathe, every breath wracking his soul till he was left gasping for air.

He cried and cried and  _ cried _ . A mix of blubbering “I’m sorry” and “please don’t leave me” managed to find their way through his tears until his throat was raw and eyes empty of tears. But even after that he still didn’t let go.

He just didn’t want to be alone.

Never again.

Sam didn’t cry, didn’t comment. He just hugged him, shushing his pleas for forgiveness, promising him “it was okay.” That “everything will be alright.” Neither of them knew if that was true, but they didn’t want to dwell on it.

They sat there for a while, gods above knew how long. It was a miracle nobody walked past to notice a creeper holding onto a sobbing child. 

Tommy felt more like a little kid than he had in years.

More fragile and vulnerable than he had allowed in almost a decade.

Sam didn’t seem to mind.

Tommy couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Eventually though, the hugging grew awkward for the teen, and with a bit of squirming he was released from the creeper’s grasp. They were sitting on the floor (when did they get down there?) and Sam just gave him a patient stare.

Tommy didn’t know what he was going to say, but he definitely didn’t think it would be, “Tell anyone I did that and you’re fucking dead.”

Sam let out a surprised laugh, having not expected it either, but he smiled. “I promise.”

“Good.”

Another pause, but this one more comfortable than the last. Sam just kept staring at him with this weird loving look as if he was almost… proud of him? For what, Tommy had no clue. He literally just sobbed himself dry on the floor of a barely built hotel. There was nothing to be proud of.

He didn’t mind it, though. Almost like a proud dad. (He tried not to think about that too much.)

“Thank you,” Tommy croaked out after a bit more staring.

Sam nodded, with that same pleased gaze. “Of course, Tommy.”

The teen stumbled to his feet, brushed off some nonexistent dirt, and coughed. “I’m… um, going to go get that cobblestone,” he explained, not sure whether to leave or not.

Rising to his feet as well, Sam nodded. “Take your time,” he replied, though his voice was reassuring.

Tommy let out an awkward chuckle, nodded in return, and turned to leave with the creeper’s eyes burning into his head.

His head felt like it was filled with bees as he left for the mines. A constant buzzing with indistinguishable thoughts flying around. He tried not to think about what just happened. About how Sam knew what Tommy had gone through. 

He was the only person who now understood why he avoided narrow holes or flinched just at the sight of TNT. Why he was always hesitant to hand something over, or why if he did he had to physically stop himself from dropping everything else as well. Why he was suddenly so much more apologetic.

Someone knew what happened. It wasn’t his and Dream’s secret anymore.

He wasn’t alone.

…

Maybe the day hadn’t been that awful after all.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Tommy needs therapy and Sam is the closest thing to it that he'll ever get.  
> Also hi, sorry I've been dead for months, I legitimately haven't written anything since July so I'm a bit rusty.  
> Also also yay, I've fallen into the Dream SMP fandom. If Tommy doesn't talk to someone about his trauma soon I'mma riot so I wrote this for my sanity's sake.  
> Maybe I'll write more stuff if I get inspiration (and if you guys like it!) Hopefully I can get back to work on my other stories too, but until then I hope you all enjoyed my little snippet!  
> -Star
> 
> Edit: Holy hell guys!!! It's literally just barely been a day since I posted this and this fic is already over 1,000 hits!!! Thank you all so so much for the support, I had no idea this would get so much attention but I'm really glad that you all like it! If you have any requests for any other short SMP fics I'm thinking of doing a couple more (not all of them with Tommy and Sam). Just thank you all so much for all of this feedback, it has seriously made my day!!  
> Also, dumb thing I thought of after posting this-  
> When Sam tried to move Tommy to the hotel Tommy really said: Nah, nah, nah, sister, you ain't getting me to no secondary location. You want it? GO GET IT! *throws cobblestone*  
> (I hope at least one of you get that reference. Okay, that's all, again seriously thank you so much hope you all have a lovely day <3)


End file.
